Pull Your Vestigation

Judah likes to sing. Judah likes to sing in repetition. Judah likes to sing the incorrect words in repetition.

Today I was entertained by a rendition of "Know Your Destination". You may recognize this tune from the beloved show, Thomas and Friends.

Judah's lyrics: Every time you leave the station, pull your vestigation.

Correct lyrics: Every time you leave the station, get to know your destination.

Thomas has some good moments, but man, are his songs lame...and a little creepy.

I enjoyed most of all how Judah ended on a high pitch, vibrato note. It was very final. Beautiful.

Sad Sight

So I have this problem...a disability one might say. For a reason unknown to me, I am unable to bring myself to grocery shop if there is still something left in the house to eat. Last night we had what was our final possible meal: oatmeal and apples. Nutritious and delicious!

This is a picture to give you an idea of how far this disability of mine reaches: What you see is not uncommon.

I really dislike shopping of all kinds. Grocery shopping is especially hard on me because of the amount of time that purchase stays with me. It is one thing to buy a coat I will wear for five years. It is a completely different thing to buy a pound of hamburger that I might forget about in the back of the fridge. I hate to waste things. In a perfect world I would make up a plan for the week of exactly what we will need and buy it and nothing else. But what mother of three children three and younger has time for that? I would like to meet her. It always baffles me when I see a cupboard stocked with chips, canned goods, and cooking needs like spices at a friends house. Do people really just walk through the store and think, "Hmmm...I might someday in a month or two need lemon juice and evaporated milk. Better buy it today!" This thought process is totally lost on me. If I see a fun recipe that calls for cumin, you had better believe I need to drive to the store to buy cumin.

This really is an unfortunate problem. Sometimes I am hungry for an item we don't have. Sometimes someone comes over to watch our kids and assumes we have fallen on hard times. Sometimes we get to the place where oatmeal is our only option. Will my children grow up and only remember empty cupboards? Will they grow to despise apples because I make them eat them all before I will buy a new type of fruit? Does Will make secret trips to the store just so he can eat something other than a pop tart for lunch?

I will go shopping today. I will go shopping today. I will go shopping today. My children need to eat...

Preschool Debut

Today was Judah's first day of preschool. I wasn't sure if I was going to send Judah to preschool or not until my friend, Cory, came up with a great plan. She and I, along with eight other moms, all have children who could be enrolled in preschool but are not for one reason or another. I know that it is important for Judah to have the preschool experience if I am going to enroll him in school later on...believe me, I am not anti-establishment. He needs to learn to share, take turns, raise his hand, and do all of those other great things he refuses to do at home.

So, my friends and I put together our own little preschool. We are meeting at the church in one of the classrooms on Wednesday mornings. We have a schedule set up so that each mom teaches, assists, sits in the nursery, and has five days off in a semester. I had this morning off. I spent my free time at Hobby Lobby. It was glorious. My favorite part of this arrangement is that I can leave Mayah and Liam in the nursery during my days off, so I really do get a morning to myself. Plus, I totally trust the moms who are teaching Judah.

Judah came home with a picture that was titled, "This is Me on My First Day of Preschool." It was a circle and some squiggles. I asked him what it was, and he said it was Gordon shunting some coal cars. Whatever.

The Roll

I thought I was safe. Liam was asleep. Mayah was asleep. Judah was occupied. It was time for me to shower. I took my time: washed and conditioned my hair, soaped up my dirty parts, shaved my legs..it was relaxing.

I stepped out of the shower, toweled up, and walked into my bedroom to find some clothes. Judah was sitting on our bed with what used to be a nicely put together roll of toilet paper.When I walked over to the other side of the bed, I saw where the rest of the toilet paper had gone. Judah explained that he was creating fireworks and putting them out. Whatever that means.

After he was finished, I discovered his end game. The little stinker just wanted to cardboard roll to play pirate. Aarrgh.

God's Gift

My sister-in-law, Caitlyn, was over the other day and captured this photo of Judah. I think I like it so much because it is such a picture of innocence. Believe me, Judah is far from innocent! Last night he was taking all of Mayah's clothes out of storage and making a pile to jump in. When I scolded him, he replied, "But I closed the door so you wouldn't see" as though that made it okay. Just this morning he pummeled his sister because he felt it was his turn to read Big Red Barn. Someday those incidents won't be so fresh in my mind. Someday I will see this picture and think, 'What a sweet boy I had.' Someday I will be content in the lies I believe.

I was recently looking through photos on my phone and came across one that made me giggle all over again. A while back, I was upstairs getting dressed while the kids were undoubtedly watching something on IPTV. As Liam was still only a few months old, I never left him alone for long.

I was gone maybe five minutes when I came back down to a fantastic scene. Judah was bending over his baby brother, putting on the finishing touches. When he noticed me watching from the stairs, he took a step back and presented him in a very Vanna White-like fashion.

Me: What's going on down here, Big Guy?

Judah: I decorated Liam.

Me: Decorated him as a what?

Judah: As a Liam.

I think my favorite part is the Mountain Dew bottle tipped up near the mouth as though he were just sipping away.

Liam has since accompanied me upstairs.

My Redneck Experience

Friday night I was sitting in my living room when I received the call. Mama C was volunteering at the Iowa Speedway for their Missions of Mercy extravaganza and wanted to know if I wanted to get my wisdom teeth pulled. I had been informed this May that my bottom two wisdom teeth were impacted and needed to come out. Not having any dental insurance, I didn't really jump at the command. I had the dentist write me a referral to Iowa City and stashed it away for the coming years. According to Dr What's-His-Name, my teeth were going require an actual surgeon because of the way they were positioned. Both teeth were laying sideways with their crowns pushing against the teeth next to them. Both teeth also had curled roots, which aren't easy to extract.

So, I looked at Will and exclaimed, "I'm gonna go get my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow." Will asked one or two questions and I was off to Newton to sleep on Mama C's couch. Mama woke me up at 5:30 to get ready and out the door. It was a dilemma to decide what to wear. It was raining outside, so I wanted to be warm and comfy, but I didn't want to look like I was white trash. I don't know why it mattered. I mean, I was preparing to stand in line for free dental care like the rest of white trash Iowa, but I felt like people needed to know that I wasn't gross...I just didn't have dental care.



So I finally decided on the appropriate outfit, and we headed to the WalMart parking lot to pick up my little brother, Josh (yeah, throwing WalMart in there doesn't make me any less white trash). Since my mom was a volunteer, she took us through the volunteer gate, bypassing the 100 cars that had been in line for hours already. She then walked up through some back doors and pointed the way to the beginning of the line. Josh and I walked over, and as we turned around, we saw hundreds of people running for the line. They had been let out of the holding pen seconds after we walked to the front of the line. As we were standing there, some lady asked me what time we had to get there to be first in line. I answered, "Six fifteen." She replied,"I got here at 4:30...how did you get in front of me?" "Errrr, what was the question?"

Now for the experience: They led us into a large room where we were given papers to fill out and rows of chairs to sit in. Josh and I sat at the back of the chairs and began filling out our papers. People were to shift chairs as others were let in. At one point, Josh looked at me and said, "It smells like McDonald's in here." He was right. Blech.

The nurses took our blood pressure and asked some "are you allergic" questions, and we were shuttled into a new line. This line led us into a different room with more chairs to shift through. After those chairs, we were led into a room with actual dentists. My dentist looked at my teeth and asked what I wanted done. I showed her my referral note and she sent me over to a different line. They told me that I was lucky I was early, because the dentist don't do major oral surgery like this later in the day but would be looking for something to do early on. I was happy to keep them busy.

Next, I was led to a different building where x-rays were taken. Then I was led through building after building past hundreds of dentists until we reached the Oral Surgeon section. I sat down and the rest is history.

My dad came and picked me up after all was completed. We stopped at HyVee Drugstore to get the meds I was prescribed (which were free, too). Then I drove home. Yep, I drove the hour back to Ames right after surgery. I was doing great until I was about ten minutes out and the numbness started wearing off. I pulled onto the last stretch of road and felt blood dripping down my chin. I was a MESS by the time Judah opened the door for me. Poor kid.

Now I am swollen and bruised. The worst part of the whole deal is that I don't have a dentist to do follow-up work with. I have no idea if I should still be spitting blood or bruised so badly. Granted, I had a pretty invasive surgery. He had to remove part of my jawbone to get to the teeth and remove the roots separately after they broke off in my gums.

So here is a photo of what I look like two days after surgery. It's not pretty.




I guess that's what you get when you get free dental care.