Cold

I am sitting inside my warm house today, looking out the window at the frosted grass. In about an hour, I will have to bundle up the kids in their winter gear, force them into their freezing car seats, drive to the high school, struggle with them into the gymnasium, and then prepare to do it all again. I hate cold. I really really HATE cold. Here is a list of things that are allowed to be cold: ice cream, soda, perishable items, ice cubes, hmmm...I will add to the list as I think of more.

I don't hate winter. Winter is fine. I am even ok with icy roads. If it could be 70 degrees out while I am driving 20 mph on the icy roads, I wouldn't complain. I don't like the way my cheeks feel when the wind pierces them. I don't like the way my fingers and toes become numb. I don't like that I can't jump in my car and drive to get some milk without ten minutes of preparation. I don't like that I force my children to stay inside all day because lugging three small children around in these conditions seems unbearable.

Why do I live in Iowa if I am such a whiner? It is because of you suckers. I have a proposal. Let's sell all of our assets and pool our money together to buy an island. This is for you, family, friends, and church. You all have to come. You can also invite your friends and family, but if they can't come it is okay, because I will be there to keep you company. Our lives can be exactly the same, only without the misery of December, January, February, and sometimes March. It will be nothing like a commune, and I won't force you to drink kool-aide. It will be more like the Dharma Initiative (only without the smoke monster, the natives, or Ben).

Who's in? Come on..give me something to hold on to this winter..even if it is a load of crap.

I hate cold.