My Redneck Experience

Friday night I was sitting in my living room when I received the call. Mama C was volunteering at the Iowa Speedway for their Missions of Mercy extravaganza and wanted to know if I wanted to get my wisdom teeth pulled. I had been informed this May that my bottom two wisdom teeth were impacted and needed to come out. Not having any dental insurance, I didn't really jump at the command. I had the dentist write me a referral to Iowa City and stashed it away for the coming years. According to Dr What's-His-Name, my teeth were going require an actual surgeon because of the way they were positioned. Both teeth were laying sideways with their crowns pushing against the teeth next to them. Both teeth also had curled roots, which aren't easy to extract.

So, I looked at Will and exclaimed, "I'm gonna go get my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow." Will asked one or two questions and I was off to Newton to sleep on Mama C's couch. Mama woke me up at 5:30 to get ready and out the door. It was a dilemma to decide what to wear. It was raining outside, so I wanted to be warm and comfy, but I didn't want to look like I was white trash. I don't know why it mattered. I mean, I was preparing to stand in line for free dental care like the rest of white trash Iowa, but I felt like people needed to know that I wasn't gross...I just didn't have dental care.



So I finally decided on the appropriate outfit, and we headed to the WalMart parking lot to pick up my little brother, Josh (yeah, throwing WalMart in there doesn't make me any less white trash). Since my mom was a volunteer, she took us through the volunteer gate, bypassing the 100 cars that had been in line for hours already. She then walked up through some back doors and pointed the way to the beginning of the line. Josh and I walked over, and as we turned around, we saw hundreds of people running for the line. They had been let out of the holding pen seconds after we walked to the front of the line. As we were standing there, some lady asked me what time we had to get there to be first in line. I answered, "Six fifteen." She replied,"I got here at 4:30...how did you get in front of me?" "Errrr, what was the question?"

Now for the experience: They led us into a large room where we were given papers to fill out and rows of chairs to sit in. Josh and I sat at the back of the chairs and began filling out our papers. People were to shift chairs as others were let in. At one point, Josh looked at me and said, "It smells like McDonald's in here." He was right. Blech.

The nurses took our blood pressure and asked some "are you allergic" questions, and we were shuttled into a new line. This line led us into a different room with more chairs to shift through. After those chairs, we were led into a room with actual dentists. My dentist looked at my teeth and asked what I wanted done. I showed her my referral note and she sent me over to a different line. They told me that I was lucky I was early, because the dentist don't do major oral surgery like this later in the day but would be looking for something to do early on. I was happy to keep them busy.

Next, I was led to a different building where x-rays were taken. Then I was led through building after building past hundreds of dentists until we reached the Oral Surgeon section. I sat down and the rest is history.

My dad came and picked me up after all was completed. We stopped at HyVee Drugstore to get the meds I was prescribed (which were free, too). Then I drove home. Yep, I drove the hour back to Ames right after surgery. I was doing great until I was about ten minutes out and the numbness started wearing off. I pulled onto the last stretch of road and felt blood dripping down my chin. I was a MESS by the time Judah opened the door for me. Poor kid.

Now I am swollen and bruised. The worst part of the whole deal is that I don't have a dentist to do follow-up work with. I have no idea if I should still be spitting blood or bruised so badly. Granted, I had a pretty invasive surgery. He had to remove part of my jawbone to get to the teeth and remove the roots separately after they broke off in my gums.

So here is a photo of what I look like two days after surgery. It's not pretty.




I guess that's what you get when you get free dental care.